Thursday, December 31, 2009

When good bloggers go bad: An Update and NYE whatsits

Dear people who read this blog, thereby giving my life a sad sceric of meaning - I have been bad. Not in a nude, are-you-sure-it's-okay-if-you-touch-me-there, I-don't-think-you're-really-a-doctor way, more in a it's been a few weeks since I blogged kind of way.

The beautiful luddites that are my grandparents, and whom I visited to fulfill my Christmas family requirements, did not have internet access, thereby ensuring I spent the festive season chain-smoking, chewing my nails to the elbows and convulsing like a recovering crack addict.

Apparently, iCrave modem.

This is just a quick note to say thank you for your comments, notes, emails, tweets etc and I will reach out and cybertouch you in dirty places ASAP.

In the mean time, I pledged my body and some very explicit pictures of my girl parts to Rosemary Rowe (writer of Seeking Simone) and in exchange, she blogged about how great I am in bed. (Disclaimer: The fact that Rosemary blogged about me, and the fact that I have exceptional prowess in bed, are both facts, but may not necessarily be related to each other. At all.)

Check out the blog here: Seeking Simone and Naked Girl - Together At Last And remember to watch this fan-tasmic series.

Venice: The Series will be up very shortly, as well as a suprise fourth part on Anyone But Me, by popular demand.

Happy New Year, all - and remember: If you're going to do something, make sure it's dirty enough to get you blacklisted, but awesome enough that you'll keep the Presidency.

Naked Girl x

Friday, December 18, 2009

Webisodes Killed the Gay-For-Pay Star: Part 2

How web-based shows will change your view of mainstream media.

Part 2: Desperately Seeking Simone

Welcome back. If you’re not sure why I’m saying welcome back, that’s okay – we’re confused around here a lot of the time. This is the second in a three-part series I’m writing on web shows; shows that can take the gay-pandering mainstream media out into a back alley and beat them to a rainbowed pulp, with their top-shelf content and pure, independent, homo pizzazz.

So yes, welcome back. Please take off your pants.

< This is a segue >

Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit is a big-bucks, primetime TV show about a bunch of detectives and prosecutors who investigate sex crimes, and I shouldn’t have to explain that to most of you, because it stars Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson and Stephanie March as ADA Alex Cabot. Together, they form Cabenson – a femslash-tastic duo of hotness, in ass-kicking proportions. Why am I bringing this up? Well, partly so I can use these pictures:

And partly because... Sorry, need more time with those pictures? I’ll wait...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Word Of The Day: Introspective

Do you know who you are?

What makes you tick?

What kick-starts your heart; makes your soul rise from your chest and expand to fill every corner of a room, until no air is left but the sweet scent of At Last! and Is this what it means to feel whole??

Do you know who you are?

Would you recognise yourself without a mirror? Do your deeds and actions reflect your beliefs and values?

Are you constantly at war with yourself, saying one thing but doing another; compromising yourself until so little of you is left that it could slip through your fingers like water?

Are you unsure what “taking a stand” even means?

Take a moment.

Sit with yourself, in darkness or in light, or on a boat on the sea away from everyone, away from expectations and ask yourself: Who am I?

What do I want from this life?

Do not ask what you have to do, do not ask what does it want from me?, because in life, there will always be conflict. There will always be someone, or something you feel you must defer to.

Do not defer life. Do not defer who you are.

Know who you are.

Introspection is never wasting time. A life without knowledge of who you are is not living.

Know who you are.

Be who you are.

Everything else will change.

Stalk me, stalk my blog:

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Webisodes Killed the Gay-For-Pay Star: Part 1

How web-based shows will change your view of mainstream media.

PART 1: Do We Really Have To Stop Now?

A little while ago, I wrote a column called Raining On The Gay Parade, in which I implied (see also: flat-out stated) the gay community has a lemming*-esque reaction to anything pitched as gay – movies, TV, books, music and community representatives, regardless of their actual worth. Then I ranted that we should be a more discerning, demanding audience, and finished by complaining about The L Word. You know - the usual.

What I didn't do, was suggest alternatives to the crap we're dealt, which makes me about as useful as a penis in a dyke bar. And I never, ever, ever, want to be compared to a penis. Never.


So today I'm posting the first in a three-part series on kick-ass alternatives. (This one's mostly for the ladies, but if you want to send me a link for the boys, please do so.) Since I'm such an up-to-date, tech-savvy child of the social-networking revolution, I'll be talking to you about New Media. In this case, the Wonderful World of Webisodes.

Never heard of a webisode? You'll be hearing the word a lot, so if you're not down already with netspeak, you'd best get acquainted. Web-based "TV" shows are the way of the future. Episodic series' pumped straight to the interwebz, without the need for mainstream ratings, TV executives or advertising dollars, means these shows can match and eclipse the content of anything "gay" you've seen on your TV for a very long time.

I'm not going to give you a history of Webries, or a definitive list of what's out there, but I do want to talk about three particular shows: Two that are so unmissable, so awesomesauce that I cream myself, and one that is most notable for its ground-breaking creation. So here we go.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Word Of The Day: Voracity


What makes you voracious? What drives you to ravenous consumption? What fuels your lust for life?

Is it hidden in a gastronomic boutique? Do you find it in words crafted on a page? Is it stored in a museum or gallery? Is it in the people you fuck?

Do you grind your way to pleasure vertically on a dance floor? Do you feel alive late at night, talking across a river of wine?

Did anything today make you feel voracious? Did you do anything that fed the fire within you?

Maybe life was ordinary, but did you live it as an extraordinary person?

It is voracity, not tenacity, that makes a life LIVED.

Consume with passion. Live voraciously.

Stalk me, stalk my blog:

Monday, December 14, 2009

Naked Rules Of Engagement: A Change Of Plans

My rules of engagement are as follows:

1: NEVER give up without a fight.

2: Never kick a man when he's stupid down.

3: If you do have to kick him, aim for the face.

4: If you're done, you can lie down, but NEVER take it.

So, I just quit my job.

Resigned. Finished. Completo.

I said my piece. In fact I've been saying it for six months. I've had meetings about it and lodged paperwork and hugged it out and yelled and ranted and cajoled and you know what? When you're done, you're done. I was done.

Is it just me, or does the world seem a shiner, happier place, full of glitter and magical sparkly things? Oh, it is just me?

Maybe that's because y'all are still working at 4.20 pm on a Tuesday afternoon. Me, I'm blogging on my front porch, with three cats and a cup of green tea. It's lovely out here. Beach weather.

I won. I fought and I won. Not the way I expected I would win, but a win is a win all the same. Because I am alive, and I am free, and I am whole, and the future has shiny shiny possibilities.

I have never lived to work, although I do work with passion and relish. But when that's gone, I work to live. And when working starts to eclipse living, why, that's no way to live at all. And, There's No Crying In Baseball.

You do what you can, you say what you have to say and if you change even one person's thinking - and I changed two - sometimes that has to be enough.

So, anyone looking to hire a sassy, passionate writer with media and political expertise, who can turn a phrase on a dime and leave it begging for more?

I'm available.

Stalk me, stalk my blog: