Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A crazy examination of the paradoxical nature of love.

I have been in relationships where the only thing I was in love with was love.

I used to think that made me a romantic. And I am, you know – a romantic. It may seem antithetical to my daily behaviour, but I believe in love. I have faith in it.

As I get older; as I meet more people living traditionally ‘unconventional’ lives, my certainty that love contains an element of forever has wavered, but my hope that it does has not.

Old-fashioned love is my blind faith; my invisible sky lizard with magical powers of magicalness.

We all have our strange religions.

But I’ve realised as I’ve gotten older, that being in love with being in love is not a romantic gesture. As an idea, it has a certain sweet naivete, but there is nothing romantic about putting it into practice. Because I have stayed in relationships where the only thing I was in love with, was love.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

An adventure through the space between my ears - Part I: Relatively Special

Image: The Crab Nebula, the result of a supernova noted by Earth-bound chroniclers in 1054AD At its centre, a neutron star. NASA Image of the Day.

A note to begin:
I’ve been thinking about time, as a relative concept. I want to talk about that, but first you’ll need to know a little of Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity. Like all things I do, I’ll try to make this extremely pleasurable.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Life On Twitter: 6 Months of Random Inanity III (April-May)

And so we near the end of our journey. (Which we started here, and then we went here.)

Journey? Is that word appropriate? Maybe in the loosest sense. I sort of feel like I set out on a journey with a specific destination, and then two miles down the track I wondered off to pick flowers, and hug kittens, and then was viciously beaten to death by Nazi robots.

Maybe, 'Free-travellin'"?

You are welcome to suggest your own word.

Looking at the clock, I've been working at this for almost 16 hours now - mostly for the pretty - but despite all that fiddling, I'm still not sure what the hell I've been doing for the last 6 months. If you've figured it out, please let me know in the comments.

Winner will become the revered god of my new religion, Snarktastigasmism. Mostly, I'll make up the rules as I go along, but you can be sure it'll involve plenty of requisite nudity. And probably pie.

Life On Twitter: 6 Months of Random Inanity II (February-March)

And we're back. In case you missed the first part of this little foray into WTFery, it all began here: WTFery.

Basically, in trying to figure out what I've been doing for the last six months, I've trawled through my 2350-odd tweets for any hints I could find. I've chosen some high-and-low lights for your possible amusement, and while I still don't have a frakking clue what I've been doing, I've realised I sure do have plenty to say about it.


The other night, I lit candles to eat my microwave dinner for one. Not as special as I'd hoped. 2:24 AM Feb 1st via web

Life On Twitter: 6 Months of Random Inanity I (December-January)

So I couldn't figure out what I've been doing for the last six months. The time seems to have sort of... slipped behind the couch or something.

Then it occurred to me that I actually had a resource to help me find out what I've been doing day to day - something I haven't had since I was 8 and diligently kept a diary of every trudging, mind-numbing thing I did because it all seemed so AWESOME at the time.

I took me about 7 hours to get through all 2,350 of my Tweets, and I've distilled some of the more interesting/informative/funny ones for posterity, and hopefully enjoyment.

And hey, if anyone can figure out what the hell I've actually been doing, could you let me know?


Jeebus help us all - I'm Twittering. 140 characters of mindlessness, here I come. 8:59 PM Dec 19th, 2009 via web

Watching Bitch Slap; realising just how comfortable I am with boob-sploitation. Thank god I have a vagina or I'd be a total pervert 12:54 PM Dec 20th, 2009 via web

Like queers, there are no carbon-copy Christians. Unlike queers, Christians generally have shit hair. 1:26 PM Dec 20th, 2009 via web

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Dirty Deed Of Australia's "Clean Feed" mandatory internet filter

There’s a great deal of debate going on right now over mandatory internet filtering, or the “Clean Feed” proposed recently by our PM, Mr Illustrious KRudd.

I’ve been happily coughing curse words at my TV over this issue for the last few months, but there’s only so many times you can hear a “Think Of The Children” argument before you lose the plot and just want all the children to fucking die.

Having reached that point, I made myself a cup of tea and upon reflection, less-homicidal me had a few things to say.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Relationship Politics and the Pina Colada Song

I hate the Pina Colada song (aka Escape by Rupert Holmes). I really, really do.
"If you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape;
I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me and escape."
That I hate this song hasn't always been true - I loved it once. It has a damned catchy tune and who doesn't enjoy singing about cocktails and sex on the beach (which, fittingly, is also a cocktail)? But a couple of years ago, I was listening and something irked me, so I checked out the lyrics.

This song fucking sucks.

The whole premise of this song is twelve kinds of wrong. First, a guy is in bed with his "old lady" (that term - gag me with a spoon) and he decides to check out the personals section in the newspaper. Right there. In bed. Beside her.

Seriously? Ever heard of discretion?

Even the douchiest of douchebags will set up a

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Quit dancing: The big gay battle is NOT OVER.

We dance. We dance around freedom; we dance around rights and justice - one step forward, one step back - and it is not a merry jaunt. We smile, but we are not joyful.

We dance with justice, with freedom because it is more respectable than fighting, and now we are a respectable people.

We have become a community.

We raise children and pets and picket fences; we wear suits and ties and hold positions of power - we are just like anyone. Those of us who live in prostration do it with Pride, because we are a respectable people.

So we do not fight anymore. We do not fight.

Why? Will we waltz into a new era? Piouette into equality; two-step for a brave new world? Does taking the hand of an oppressor, twirling around the issues get us closer to where we want to be? To where we need to be?

It does not.

Dance is style and flair; it requires retreat, someone to relinquish ground and yet, we dance. We start on the back foot and ruffle our skirts around issues because now we are a respectable people. Our dance card is always full.

We do not riot anymore.

We are a respectable people, a

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Webisodes Killed the Gay-For-Pay Star: An Interlude

How web-based shows will change your view of mainstream media.

An Interlude: Telling Stories

Humans have been telling stories since we crawled out of the primordial goo and developed opposable thumbs on our little flatworm bodies*. From simple hunting tactics to fantastical myths of our creation (and, of course, porn), humans have communicated tales of who we are, what we do and where we come from and it is a habit, a skill, a need unique to our breed of animal.

The way we tell stories and the media we use has changed a lot since our days of finger painting on cave walls. No longer confined to rudimentary symbols or text; traditional, Mainstream and New Media has allowed us to tell our stories vividly; in full technicolour and high definition.

But despite all this evolution, our reason for telling stories has stayed the same: We seek, we yearn, and we crave that transcendental moment of connection with our fellow human.

For Queers, so often marginalised, alienated and maligned, telling stories can be one of the few ways we are able to touch, not only each other, but the people who consider us to be Untouchables. Through book and stage, small screens and large, we tell our stories so we can be seen; to share that which makes us the same and remove the fear that comes from misunderstanding that which makes us different.

In the first instalment of this webseries, I talked about the importance of groping supporting quality homo products. In the second, I vented my frustration at Mainstream Media’s gay-pandering tactics and the infuriating trend of the TV clit-tease.

Before we get to Otalia and Venice: The Series, I want to take a moment to talk about Queer Visibility and Positive Queer Representation, and what they mean to me.

Also, Hot Chicks and Boobs.

So here we go.

Visibility Matters.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Word Of The Day: Change


Change is inevitable. Like growing older, the passage of time - whether you like it or not, change will come.

Sometimes change sneaks up on you; sometimes you sense its impending doom like a storm cloud heavy overhead, or a wolf snarling and nipping at your heels. However it arrives, and no matter how well you think you have prepared yourself for it, change will always, without exception, find a way to turn your world upside down.

Even the smallest of changes, such as your favourite cafe running out of soy when you go in for your morning latte, can throw out your entire day. Now you have to order tea, or grab some water, or even move on to the next cafe a block down the street. It is simple, and yet we resist. A pebble on the track, change can derail the train of your day and send you sprawling across the gravel, dirty and bloodied and wondering what the hell just happened.

Change is seldom comfortable.

I am quick to admit I do not like change, but rarely as forthcoming with why I don’t like change.