Journey? Is that word appropriate? Maybe in the loosest sense. I sort of feel like I set out on a journey with a specific destination, and then two miles down the track I wondered off to pick flowers, and hug kittens, and then was viciously beaten to death by Nazi robots.
You are welcome to suggest your own word.
Looking at the clock, I've been working at this for almost 16 hours now - mostly for the pretty - but despite all that fiddling, I'm still not sure what the hell I've been doing for the last 6 months. If you've figured it out, please let me know in the comments.
Winner will become the revered god of my new religion, Snarktastigasmism. Mostly, I'll make up the rules as I go along, but you can be sure it'll involve plenty of requisite nudity. And probably pie.
APRIL:
Hell is an idea first born on an undigested bottle of wine. (With apologies to Melville) 8:30 AM Apr 1st via web
Dear @Saintone20 @rosiekit @dantasticnz. I hate you all from the bottom of my cirrhotic liver. Love Zoe 2:59 PM Apr 1st via web
I hope everyone takes time today to remember the selfless gift given to all of us by our lord, Cadbury chocolate. #Easter 12:48 AM Apr 3rd via web
Coffee, cigarettes, cop shows, erotic stories, scifi, dictionary, jigsaw, knee-high boots, sandalwood soap, hot showers, blue jeans 7:14 PM Apr 3rd via web
Rhymes with 'blinvisible'... 10:13 PM Apr 4th via web
Becoming more aware every day that severe emotional trauma makes me lol. Have warned mother I will laugh at funerals - including hers. 3:38 PM Apr 7th via web
I'm happier when my fave female TV characters are single. Apparently, my brain doesn't register I have no chance, because they're FICTIONAL. 4:25 PM Apr 8th via web
Never say die until you've actually fallen. 4:53 PM Apr 8th via web
I keep you at a distance because you're perfect from far away.5:48 PM Apr 8th via web
Watching Die Hard 4 at 5.30am. Why? Because... yeah, I got nothin'. 5:32 AM Apr 9th via web
Ever get a phone call canceling your job interview because the temp took the position? No? Suckers. You just haven't LIVED! 12:27 PM Apr 9th via web
My subconscious brain is a hydrogen based alien fish. 3:35 PM Apr 10th via web in reply to dantasticnz
6.30am; it's raining in that way that makes you wanna shag the city & then curl up in puddles & talk about your feelings. #melbourne 6:23 AM Apr 11th via web
Totes loving reports on death of the Polish PM: "Shame he died, but he probably brought it on himself. He was quite pushy." #powercrash 11:54 PM Apr 12th via web
Sounds like something's exploding in Coburg. Hope it's a zombie apocalypse #melbourne #theendisnigh 3:43 AM Apr 13th via web
Nothing with a velocity below C can ever go the speed of light, yet nothing travelling faster than light can ever be slowed below C 1:04 AM Apr 16th via web
Okay, so I know I dislocated my toe today, but my foot going blue? Seems a little melodramatic... Right? 4:04 AM Apr 18th via web
So much homotasticness today that when I collapsed on my couch, rainbows popped out. 11:03 PM Apr 18th via web
Watched Resident Evil; still think it's one of the best lesbian love stories around. 2:35 AM Apr 19th via web
Electrical storms, evening rain, make my body buckle; stand on end. 10:47 PM Apr 20th via web
A theoretical understanding of quarks is greatly improved by beer. Unfortunately, it makes the math go to shit. #sixpackscience #geek 2:17 AM Apr 21st via web
@NakedGirl_Blogs And a practical understanding of Quarks is greatly improved by a copy of The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition ;) #geek 2:21 AM Apr 21st via Echofon @Revolos55 in reply to NakedGirl_Blogs
@Revolos55 And for that response, you get eleventy bajillion awesome points, my first-born child and all the latinum in the universe. 2:29 AM Apr 21st via web @NakedGirl_Blogs in reply to @Revolos55
The Day the Earth Stood Still eco message #168: To save the Earth, most of you will have to die. We believe this cost is reasonable. 11:39 PM Apr 23rd via web
The Day The Earth Stood Still eco msg #367: Science good; military bad. We think. Actually, we haven't researched this point at all. #WTFery 11:51 PM Apr 23rd via web
Locust plagues are simply nature's way of telling you to eat more protein. Trust me on this one. #nottherapture 11:56 PM Apr 23rd via web
I don't think you're meant to cook vegans. I think they're more of a raw fusion dish. #eatvegans 12:49 AM Apr 24th via web in reply to dantasticnz
Spent 4 hours in the emergency room and created a whole flock of latex-glove turkeys. Dubbed it the Douche Pack. Night. Of. Win. 6:10 AM Apr 30th via web
MAY:
Thinking of joining the Navy. Because I look good in blue and I always liked that Village People song. 12:14 AM May 2nd via web
I've never taken acid. Watching Apocalypse Now (Redux) means I'll never have to. Martin Sheen's bloodied chest hairs will haunt me forever. 2:30 AM May 2nd via web
I am in love with Sam Carter. Yes, I'm aware she is fictional, but that suits me. #imaginationship #SG1 6:30 PM May 3rd via web
I must be clear: I'm in love with Carter- Not Amanda Tapping. That'd just be weird. #imaginationship 7:08 PM May 3rd via web
…Plus there was that time I saved the galaxy. Long story. Involves a secret biochemical compound and a coathanger. #hero 7:50 PM May 3rd via TweetDeck
You know, if you die, a housecat will start eating you before you are cold. That's my kind of sidekick. 8:02 PM May 3rd via TweetDeck
I don't know - if the government gave me a billion dollars, I probably wouldn't work either. #myki #melbourne 3:31 PM May 4th via web
It was when my mother told me she loved Indigo Girls that I really knew all the cool had gone out of lesbianism. 3:33 PM May 4th via web
Swallowing Panadol with hot coffee makes me feel hard core. But it's really not, is it? #delusionalhappyplace #geekinator 3:40 PM May 4th via web
Our love affair with KRudd is over? But gee, the sex was so good. #7pmProjectWTFery 9:29 PM May 4th via web
Jane Lynch's Vogue was the fulfillment of a lesbian dream I've had since youth. #Glee #dykerotic 9:11 PM May 6th via web
I could happily spend a lifetime pondering black holes. Oh astrophysics, how you make me warm and fuzzy, like kittens. #geektastic 8:02 AM May 7th via web
I think the blue of #solvatedelectrons has more to do with smurfs than our current level of science can explain. #atomicsmurf 5:58 PM May 7th via web
Saved several dragonflies today, yet kitchen resembles an entomological graveyard. Stinkin' cat thinks she's Godzilla with a backyard helipad 6:15 PM May 7th via web
Tell your mum the nipple slip was an homage to her nurturing role in your upbringing. 6:27 PM May 7th via web in reply to mariekehardy
We are clumsy, messy creatures flailing wildly through the unknown, hoping desperately to crash into each other. #Hilariousfutility 10:40 PM May 7th via web
The worst part of forgetting something is remembering you knew it once. 12:37 AM May 8th via web
I've been to enough bars to know most 'modern' humans are still shagging neanderthals. 12:41 AM May 8th via web in reply to PalaceParker
Flying reindeer have a gamey aftertaste. 12:45 AM May 8th via web
Took a sleeping tablet with a mug of coffee, just to see who'd win. 1:58 AM May 8th via web
I slightly love you, but not in a gay way. #totesinagayway 2:02 AM May 8th via web
Wow, the warning on this label should've read: May Cause Awesomeness. And dilated pupils. Everything is so shiny. #prescriptionmedicationwin 2:09 AM May 8th via web
Reconciling Jennifer Garner and a 13yo girl is just confusing for my vagina. I feel dirty. #Suddenlypaedophilia 8:26 PM May 8th via web
Oyster, papaya and mango? It's like a tropical island sneezed. Awesome #ironchef 8:50 PM May 8th via web
You're driving to a hike? Why not just drive the extra 7.5 miles and go straight to the having coffee? 5:55 AM May 9th via web
The beauty of forgetting Mother's Day for years, is lowered expectations. A single txt just crowned me daughter of the year. Suckers. 10:10 PM May 9th via web
I'd thought the drunken one-night stand between BSG and the Stargate franchise birthed a bastard. Now, I see #SGU for the lovechild it is. 3:07 AM May 10th via web
Of course kids are looking for child porn. Looking for adult porn would just be age-inappropriate and creepy #qanda 9:40 PM May 10th via web
Lost some followers with that crack about coprophilia. My work here is done. #nocleanfeed #openinternet 1:10 AM May 11th via web
Our beautifully flawed world, with its awesomely fragile, destructive denizens. #inherentlyhuman 1:56 AM May 11th via web
If anyone can beat a man to death with a rainbow, it's Kristen Chenowith. And I'm pretty sure she has wings and lives under a mushroom. 6:14 PM May 11th via web
Combining nerdy historical excitement with hot tattooed chicks. Oh Time Team, how I [heart] you. 6:22 PM May 11th via web
Gee #Melbourne, why so cold? I made you dinner, treated you well... 11:35 PM May 11th via web
I'm the kind of girl who tears up at @NASA's image of the day, because our universe is so astoundingly beautiful. #stunnedandawed #geek 1:25 AM May 12th via web
Sam Carter punches Ba'al. While part of me cheers girl power, the rest totally objectifies her hotness. This is why I'm not a feminist. #SG1 3:44 PM May 12th via web
I'm equally proficient at objectifying & being objectified. My feminist sensibilities are overridden by the fact I'm a whore. 4:51 PM May 12th via web
So lazy I didn't even bother cooking the mi goreng, just poured in the powder flavour packet and ate the noodles raw. How am I still single? 5:48 PM May 12th via web
Gah! Channel 9 has a skeleton presenting the weather. #ohthehorror #giveherasammich 6:29 PM May 12th via web
Flicked to 7 and couldn't figure out who this 'Beaver' guy was they were raving about. Turns out, it was 'Bieber'... Still have no idea. 7:01 PM May 12th via web
Thanks @CatherineDeveny- I can no longer watch Bindi's 'Green' ad without shuddering. I mean, I always did, but now there's added pedophilia 10:58 PM May 12th via web
Be careful mixing cooking and nudity. It can go terribly wrong. Not that I speak from experience or anything... 12:28 AM May 13th via web
Oh TV Tropes, the ultimate drug-free cause of missing time - how I heart your humorous collection of depravity. #hivemind 3:52 PM May 16th via web
That whole "cleanliness is godliness" thing was totally misconstrued. 4:55 PM May 16th via web
PS: Have I ever mentioned my ridiculously massive crush on Lisa Wilkinson? No? #thatsbecauseitsodd #homegrownimagionationship 6:07 PM May 16th via web I'll always be sad the sexual tension between Paul and Mikey never went further than that #unconsumatedloveaffair #GNW 7:27 PM May 16th via web
Okay, I'm thinking the Athlete's Foot slogan, "I've never met a foot I couldn't fit", was perhaps not entirely thought through. 11:20 PM May 16th via web
o hai, #LOTS - Congrats on S2. Just wanted to ask - lesbians are only created by bad, evil black magic? Is that wot ur saying? 5:56 PM May 17th via web
Thought my TV was muted until I changed the channel and almost frakkin' died. Turns out, that was a show by/for deaf people. 7:02 PM May 17th via web
Twitter: Keeping me in touch with my imaginary friends since 2009. 7:07 PM May 17th via web
On another @7pmproject note, I always enjoy an attractive woman wearing a flak jacket with "Press" written across her cleavage. 7:09 PM May 17th via web
When in a group of RL friends, and you find you all talk with hashtags, you really become aware of this Brave New World 11:04 PM May 17th via web
Broke the 200 followers mark tonight. Who knew that being duly obnoxious and geeky could serve me so well? #imaginaryfriends #nuditysells 12:14 AM May 18th via web
Just ate a bowl of two-minute Singapore noodles. It seems to be going horribly wrong... #tooyoungtodie 12:38 AM May 19th via web
I want a sharktopus. Like really, really, want one. #sanctuary @damiankindler 1:58 AM May 19th via web
My only wish in life is to make yours hilariously uncomfortable. 6:04 AM May 19th via web
Dear @abc_investigates How do you solve a problem like Maria? Also appreciate any info on keeping a moonbeam in your hand. #askABC 4:11 PM May 19th via web
The gays? Is anyone still talking about them? So 2008. 8:04 AM May 20th via web
Dear people unfollow/following me several times a day: Yes, this tactic makes me notice you. But it makes me want to kick you in the face. 8:18 AM May 20th via web
There were gays in Brokeback Mountain? Wow. Did that film go anywhere? 8:24 AM May 20th via web
Give Akermanis a break. As he said, being nude with guys is a *big* part of his daily life. If they were gay, that'd just be weird. 8:38 AM May 20th via web
#Glee. Plus JOSS WHEDON. Sweet baby jesus, it's a convergence of awesome. Predict rainbows exploding into boobs at any moment. #geekgasm 9:13 AM May 20th via web
Oh god, somebody help me. They're doing the Safety Dance. THE SAFETY DANCE. I'm hyperventilating. #geeksplosion #glee 9:32 AM May 20th via webDear Pearson; Thanks for letting me know I made the shortlist and narrowly missed the Editor role. Next time, could we just try "You win!" 9:50 AM May 20th via web
I... hmm. I'm having one of those "I do not think that word means what you think it means" moments. 11:11 AM May 20th via web
I think the real question is when *don't* you need a chainsaw. Because that's not a life I'd want to live. 11:15 AM May 20th via web
Fanfic gives an extra dimension of creativity and imagination to an otherwise mindless activity. #artinTV 11:29 AM May 20th via web
As a surly, snarky, obnoxious, socially impatient/disinterested, general dick of a person, #House always gives me hope #cynicallyoptimistic 11:35 AM May 20th via web
When people stop tweeting about local corpses, it's probably a good sign housing values are about to plummet. #timetomove 12:41 PM May 20th via web
Shhhhh. Secret identity Zoe is secret #isaninja 7:13 AM May 21st via web
Saw "Neutron Star Collision" trending & was blown away. Turns out it's less unbelievable cosmic event, more a song by Muse. #tearsofageek 8:18 AM May 21st via web
I think me being a lesbian makes me more awesome than anyone at everything. 10:47 AM May 21st via web
I found a song about Pi. Now, I'm not saying it's the greatest song, but it's about Pi. PI. http://tinyurl.com/PiSong #geektastic 11:06 AM May 21st via web
Can't wait for my next trip to the airport. I definitely look like the kind of person who would carry porn. #randomsearch 12:53 PM May 21st via web
Captain Ahab and the elusive sea turtle #lesserbooks 7:25 PM May 21st via
web Stuff Jesus Said Back In The Day #lesserbooks 9:25 PM May 21st via web
An Extremely Detailed History of Only the Subjects I'm Interested In #lesserbooks 9:52 PM May 21st via web
The Wife of The Man Who Respected The Laws Of Physics And Lived His Life In The Correct Bloody Order #lesserbooks 9:58 PM May 21st via web
Okay, I have a date with Grey's Anatomy. If you hear screaming and/or crying, it's not... Yeah, it's totally me. #Greysfinale 10:22 PM May 21st via web
I AM THE QUEEN OF TOURETTE'S. DO NOT TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW #frakkingshonda 11:22 PM May 21st via web
Dear healthy living people/bots- I eat meat. I smoke like nicotine is my lover. None of my tattoos will ever be dolphins. #Letmedieinpeace 1:41 AM May 22nd via web
I heart the beautiful incongruity of philanthropic capitalism #tedxsydney 3:00 PM May 22nd via web
Twitter is a global conversation and I'm glad to be a part of it. 4:50 PM May 22nd via webCancer missiles made of nanodiamonds. There is nothing more awesome than that - not even the sharktopus #tedxsydney 5:08 PM May 22nd via web
Mmm cider. All the goodness of apples with the added bonus of much hearty grog. 10:17 PM May 22nd via web
Trying to figure out the portmanteau: would Ba'al in Adria be Adriba'al, or Ba'aldria? #pressingquestions #SG1 10:37 PM May 22nd via web
Jeez, tell a girl you have a stockpile of porn and suddenly she gets all shady on you 12:04 AM May 23rd via web
Why come to my door to solicit me? Why not just do it through Twitter like a normal person? #getoutofmySunday 2:05 PM May 23rd via web
Run. Run while you still have a gaydar. Hetros totally ruin calibration. #electromagneticstraightism 3:51 PM May 23rd via web in reply to royaroo
I love the ocean & women in uniform. So I have an interview with the Navy
next week. Here's hoping they don't mention patriotism or war. 3:59 PM May 23rd via webEntropy has nothing to do with the messiness of my room, but everything to do with how it became that way #iamscience 7:21 PM May 23rd via web
When it's warm, cat hugs remind me I am loved. When it's cold, cat hugs remind me I am tolerated for my functionality. #crazycatlady 10:57 PM May 23rd via web
♬ I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain? ♫ #dancinginmyundies 11:03 PM May 23rd via web
There is a distinct difference between grand irony and dramatic irony. 11:48 PM May 23rd via web
@royaroo @NakedGirl_Blogs True. Grand irony is when you steal over $10,000 worth of laundry. Dramatic irony is what the costume lady does each day. 11:57 PM May 23rd via TweetDeck in reply to NakedGirl_BlogsOh yeah, total sympathy for your hangover. No really, this is not my smug face. 12:21 AM May 24th via web
The angry gif is the steam valve of the Internetian. 6:13 PM May 24th via web in reply to find_day
Heheh boobs. *immature high-five* 8:35 PM May 24th via web
Gillard really introduces the Altona accent to the world #melbourne #Lateline 10:51 PM May 24th via web
The unbelievability of the past proves to us the impossibility of the future. 9:06 PM May 25th via web
To those of you who didn't get my 'trees and Quantum physics' quip, this will blow your mind: http://trees-use-quantum-mechanics #geektastic 5:45 PM May 26th via web
My god- Mind totally blown. Just heard the Infinity Hotel paradox & its solution for the first time. I... don't even have words #geektastic 6:06 PM May 26th via web
The eviction is upon us again! The joys of freelance living. If anyone needs a house, or has a job for the most awesome girl ever - I'm here 27 May 2010 via web
The more energy used to travel (near C) through the space, the less you have to travel through time. Thus, time slows down #timedilation 27 May 2010 via web
THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE.
(You can follow me on Twitter, at your peril, here.)
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